||[Mar. 11th, 2004|12:16 am]
I don't know why I'm not posting this in knavish_sprites. I haven't posted here since we started that community, and I prefer posting there. I suppose it is because Chaeyz has already made a post about the hospital wing, and maybe I am just too tired to make a few extra clicks and add one more.
I've decided I don't like the hospital wing, and especially not at night. It's very quiet at first until you realize you can hear the sound of breathing, and somebody will cough or turn. So I know I'm not alone, but I still feel that way, because everyone is sleeping but I can't. I don't really like sleeping in a room with other people, it took me long enough to get used to the dorm after spending ten years either sharing a room with a sister I didn't trust or having one to myself.
It's comforting to know that Chaeyz and Jenyae are here, and most comforting to know Hugh is in the next bed and I can watch him sleep. But then I want to hug him, and I can't because he's sleeping and anyway we're both sick and sore, and then I wish it was day and we were well again.
I don't want to sleep right now, because I'm thinking the thoughts that lead to nightmares and I can't push them away all the time, but I can't read because it's dark and I'm just too tired to reach for my wand and I don't even know if I have enough energy for a simple light spell, and I don't want to disturb the other sleepers. Quite a few of us sleep lightly or fitfully right now.
I want to be alone at night and at the same time I don't. I want somewhere familiar, but the hospital wing is familiar-- I just can't stand to be here. I am tired of sitting and too tired to move. I want to sleep but don't dare.
I'm very sick of being sick. I don't think these thoughts when I'm well.
I can't wait until morning. Sirius may be right in saying that the world is never less crazy in the morning, but at least it is brighter.